Played by two
inexperienced, singularly untalented pool players, the game was
an exciting Mexican standoff: the balls steadfastly refused to
sink into the pockets, as the opponents engaged in a furious
battle of Who Will Suck Less.
It was clear how this game was going to go when both
players showed up at The Elbow Room and realized that
neither of them were sure of the rules. Wolfmann,
however showed a slight edge over our billiard-virgin editor
in chief when he asked for a game of eight-ball, prompting
Fonacier to ask, "You mean, we take turns shaking the
eight ball and whoever gets the best answer
wins?" When informed that eight-ball pool had
nothing to do with the Magic Eight Ball toys, Fonacier
turned slightly pale and said, "I knew that."
It might be worth noting that Fonacier
has only ever held a pool cue twice before: the last time
ended with her tutor holding her head in her hands,
crying. On the other hand, Wolfmann claims only to
have played football in Grade 2, while Fonacier was a
varsity fencing team captain in college. Buoyed by an
arrogant self-confidence, Fonacier also ceded the first turn
back to Wolfmann, since, she said, "I'm not done with
my beer yet." Ah, a true sportswoman.
Wolfmann immediately sank three in a
row. "Wooh!" he said, howling like, well,
like a wolfman. Fonacier, bemused by his early lead, raised
an eyebrow and asked, "Are you sure you're not a pool
Stunned by his opponent being able to
guess his real name, Wolfmann flubbed his next shot.
Fonacier then managed to pocket one ball, before fouling out
again as she nudged a couple a couple of billiard balls
while trying to address the cue ball. "Oh, no. I
just touched many ball," she gasped, before clapping
her hand over her mouth. "Don't quote me."
Wolfmann held on to his lead for a while,
before Fonacier evened up the score with two lucky
shots. It was head-to-head for a while after that,
with clearly more experienced players on the other tables
gawking at the table, pitying the two clearly sucky players.
The action reached a crescendo when
Wolfmann managed to pocket his next-to-last solid.
"Hey, I think I just might win!" he said in
awe. He missed the difficult next shot, allowing
Fonacier to sink two stripes and pull in to a tie
again. The last ball proved to be elusive for both
player, until, finally, fighting the effects of frustration,
fatigue, and three more beers, Wolfmann managed to sink the
last solid and the eight ball. "I win!" he
yelled, before sitting down in one of The Elbow Room's
comfortable booths. He compares this game of pool to a
bad gig he played in Intramuros, where people were throwing
nails and chewing gum at his head. "Let's never
do this again."
more of this great article in the September 2004 issue
of MTV INK Magazine available in bookstores and newstands